IMPACT REVIEW 2/1/14
First review of the New Year; hope everyone had a good one!
We start with a hype package for new World Heavyweight Champion Magnus, The first British champ in 108 years apparently! They list his measurements, saying ’17 Stone’ which will probably confuse all the Americans watching.
Kurt Angle heads to the ring and depresses everyone with how bad his last year has been. Bobby Roode interrupts quickly and jumps to the conclusion that Kurt is retiring. Kurt denies this and challenges Roode to ‘one more match’. This just made me think of Christian and how good that gimmick was. Roode says he will accept if Kurt’s career is on the line. Kurt then adds that it will be in a steel cage (time for THAT Moonsault guys). They start to brawl, until Rockstar Spud appears and makes a tag match later on tonight.
Backstage Dixie is handed a note saying ‘see you tonight’ with no name, and goes to investigate it.
Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa are in the ring as we come back from commercial. Tapa is holding the Knockouts belt looking really bored, almost like she’s being forced. I don’t really understand why they’re mates, they never actually explained it.
GAIL KIM VS MADISON RAYNE
This was a good match, with Madison picking up the win in her first singles match since her return. She looked really good, no ring rust at all. This win should make her number one contender, because well…there’s no other Knockouts is there?
Madison Rayne celebrating her win – Source: Impact Wrestling
X DIVISION TITLE MATCH – AUSTIN ARIES (C) VS CHRIS SABIN
Fucking great match, as you’d expect. Aries stayed in control 90% of the match, hitting every move you’d expect. As he was preparing for his running Dropkick, Sabin pressured Velvet into getting involved. She looked like she was gonna cry, but then climbed onto the ring apron. AA then turned to tell her to get down, but ended up receiving a lowblow and a Small Package AND LOSE THE TITLE.
A Double nailing Sabin with a Missile Dropkick – Source: Impact Wrestling
I hate when titles change hands so quickly. It works for the story-line, but he could’ve just won his defense last week in the same way. Sabin grabbed a mic afterwards and said he had one person to thank…himself.
SAMUEL SHAW VS NORV FERNUM
They aired a vignette for Shaw about a month ago, showing him on a date with Christy Hemme. He came across as a massive weirdo. He now wears a jumper, white jeans and leather gloves. No skin on display at all. After every single move, he stared at Hemme, especially as he locked on a Standing Triangle Choke, which put Norv to sleep. What a creep! Hemme announced him as the winner, but didn’t put any emotion into it, wasted opportunity.
Backstage James Storm reacts to learning Kurt is teaming with Gunner, by asking Roode to be his.
KURT ANGLE & GUNNER VS BOBBY ROODE & JAMES STORM
Gunner gets a few cheers as he makes his entrance, looks like they’re doing a double turn. Not sure it’s for the best to turn Storm heel, as much as I dislike him, he’s definitely over with the crowd. Storm really acted like a heel in this, viciously attacking Gunner whenever he could. This lead to a lovely ending, with Gunner holding Roode in a Torture Rack, as Storm slid into the ring and nailed him with a Superkick. Roode then finished him for the 3 count.
I’ve completely changed my mind; I want a heel Beer Money – Source: Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III heads to the ring and disses Jeff Hardy. He mocks him by saying ‘my creatures, my creatures’ in an English accent and doing gun fingers. I laughed quite a lot. ECIII asks Christy to announce Jeff to the ring, but he’s not even in the arena. ECIII doesn’t care and goes to count him out: ‘1…2…EC3…4’ AMAZING. Sting steams out, and basically pressures EC3 into a match with him. Ethan agrees, but it’ll be in two weeks.
BULLY RAY VS JOSEPH PARK
Bully comes out wearing a hoodie and jeans, and just stands in the corner looking down. Park heads over nervously, but gets kicked in the dick for his troubles. Park wins by DQ.
Bully then pulls out a bottle of lighter fluid and covers Park in it, all over his face. He pulls out a cheap lighter, not a zippo that would actually work if you dropped it, a cheap one. Mr. Kennedy runs out to make the save, but gets fluid in the eyes. He backs into a corner and Bully holds up the lighter. Then he leaves. I don’t get it.
CROWNING OF OUR NEW WORLD CHAMPION
Spud and EC3 are in the ring, surrounded by Union Jack flags and a throne. Spud talks about the Royal Family, and gets a ‘USA’ chant. He responds to it by saying ‘no, no, Dixieland!’ and stops the chant completely. Dixie comes out and talks about Magnus like she fancies him. He finally comes out, looking very smart, like your stereotypical World Champ. I completely love this stable, it’s so over the top. Magnus gets cut off my Gunners music, who heads out with TNA’s Money in the Bank briefcase. Before he can ‘cash in’, Spud and EC3 attack. Magnus prepares to hit him with the belt, but gets surprised by the returning AJ STYLES. They hold up their respective belts, exactly like CM Punk and John Cena did. AJ lays down a ‘Champion vs Champion’ challenge, and Magnus accepts. They stare each other down as the show ends.
The two champions stare each other down – Source: Impact Wrestling
I’ve seen a lot of rumours recently about AJ actually leaving TNA and heading to ROH. I can never tell if they are works or not, if they’re true I’m guessing next week will be his final appearance. That would be a huge shame.
As always you can contact me with any thoughts, or even if you just want to chat about wrestling at @jrholberry on twitter.