IT’S OVER, ACES & 8’S ARE DONE. That’s my main positive thought going into tonight’s show, the ending of a storyline that got stale months ago.
Dixie comes to the ring to start the show, HHH style. She gets booed to death as usual, but quickly gets to the point. She’s hired a chief-of-staff, and it’s tiny British wrestler Rockstar Spud. She mentions how the British treat royalty, which I thought was incredibly ironic for a Thanksgiving special show. Spud cuts a heel promo about being Dixie’s eyes/ears, and then calls her his Queen to loud boos and USA chants. Dixie swoons to that and quickly invites her nephew Ethan Carter III out.
ECIII VS CURRY MAN
Well known secret, Curry Man is actually Christopher Daniels under a mask, complete with a tiny hat. He starts off by doing a kind of racist Japanese accent, saying hello to the crowd, and then going full blown into the language. All I heard was ‘KENTA’ before Carter attacked and didn’t let up. The crowd chanted you can’t wrestle at one point, no idea why. EC3 obviously got the win, and actually looked dominating for once.
Backstage – The Bro-Mans are backstage with Zema Ion, who hasn’t been on tv for quite some time since having time off with injury issues (started as a muscular thing, but then got very complicated with tumours/medical bills/etc, Google it). Eric Young and ODB appear and tell them they are wrestling Dewey and Fernum tonight, with the losers having to wear turkey suits.
VELVET SKY VS LEI’D TAPA
This match was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, Sky basically trying to bring Tapa down with low kicks and submissions. Tapa eventually kicked her face off and hit her TKO-esque finisher for the win. Not bad.
WE SEE A HIGHLIGHT PACKAGE FOR THE TURKEY SUIT.
BRO-MANS VS DEWEY BARNES & NORV FERNUM
Turns out Zema is now the BM’s DJ, and he introduces them with new, super obnoxious house music. Robbie and Jesse run down their opposition, whilst Zema hits the air-horn button over and over again, I laughed out loud. The BM’s hit their finisher on one of the jobbers after about ten seconds, and won. The losers put on the turkey suits, and played to the crowd like they didn’t care.
An AJ Styles tour video is shown again, immediately followed by a tantrum from Dixie.
Backstage – Rockstar Spud shouts at a helper backstage about ”toad in the ‘ole” and other British foods. I can see this actually getting entertaining, he came across like a complete bastard.
FUNERAL OF ACES & 8’S
This reminded me of a segment TNA ran years ago, where Jeff Jarrett and his mates had a funeral for Team 3D. That was brilliant, and so was this. The theme of the funeral was bringing things to put in the coffin that signified the Aces. Highlights went like this; Eric Young crying and not knowing why, Kurt Angle bringing a D-Lo Brown bobblehead, Samoa Joe passing out beers, Mikey Tenay going to put Taz’s vest in the coffin, but saying he strangely found Brooke Tessmacher’s booty shorts under the commentary table (and then pocketing them), EY putting a turkey suit in and screaming ‘I LOVE YOU TURKEYYYY’ whilst being dragged away. Anderson teased putting the signature hammer in, but then decided to keep it as it’s ‘a perfectly good hammer’. Bully Ray interrupted at this point, and threatened Anderson and his family. Looks like this feud isn’t over! Really funny segment, I recommend checking it out.
WE SEE FOOTAGE OF KURT ANGLE WRESTLING LIAM FROM ONE DIRECTION?! AND LIAM DOES A REALLY NICE ARMBAR?!
Backstage – Rockstar Spud shouts at Angela for bringing him ‘revolting’ mash, into it.
BOBBY ROODE, BAD INFLUENCE & CHRIS SABIN VS KURT ANGLE, JAMES STORM, GUNNER AND MAGNUS
This is your standard heel-face team match, loads of cheating, keeping faces away from their teams etc. Sabin rolled up Storm to eliminate him, whilst Gunner was literally within arms reach, he could’ve broken it up before the referee had counted one. Kazarian eliminated Gunner, after a double team move with Daniels. Magnus tried to capitalise with a clothesline off the apron to Daniels, but tweaked his knee doing so. He got taken to the back, leaving Kurt on his own. Kurt was in his element for the next few minutes, suplexing everyone in sight. Roode tried to counterbalance that by bringing in a chair, only for Kurt to take it from him and use it, and getting disqualified…I don’t get it? Sure he hates Roode, but he was completely in control of the match.
Backstage – Storm and Gunner argue, mentioning what I saw earlier. Is Storm gonna turn heel? Gunner is too obvious.
WINNER WINNER TURKEY DINNER
Everyone who won their match tonight, is invited to this dinner. Sabin comes out with his girlfriend Velvet, until Bobby Roode asks him why she’s here. Sabin agrees with him, and asks her to leave to the crowds anger. After each wrestler around the table tells us what they’re thankful for, I realise every winner tonight has been a heel! Kurt comes out with all the faces/losers, and they all brawl/food fight. The show ends with the fans celebrating with faces, as Taz shouts about needing to ID the jobbers.
Notes: Genuinely really fun show tonight, even though a lot of it was on the comedy side, none of it went on too long.
As always you can contact me with any thoughts, or even if you just want to chat about wrestling at @jrholberry on twitter.