TNA IMPACT REVIEW
This weeks Impact recap package consists of Wes Brisco’s exclusion from Aces & 8’s and Dixie demanding Hulk Hogan’s loyalty.
AJ Styles heads to the ring to start the show. He says he’s not here to ‘use his shovels’ when it comes to Dixie. There’s definitely a trend of wrestlers using insider terminology recently, when the promo needs a bit more fire. The champ Bully Ray and his Mrs Brooke Tessmacher interrupt him, with the cameras lingering on Brooke’s arse, fair play when your show has a male dominated demographic.
Bully annihilates AJ on the promo side of things, firing through why he’s the best at rapid fire succession. AJ stays calm and collected as Bully screams in his face, until he cracks a sly smile and tells him he has a match tonight, against Samoa Joe. Bully acts angry/scared, which is weird when you consider how TNA have wrongly booked Joe for years now.
Backstage Segment – Dixie has security throw AJ out of the building.
KENNY KING AND CHRIS SABIN VS JEFF HARDY AND MANIK
Austin Aries is on commentary, putting over every single man in the match, cool. King is busted open AGAIN! Literally two minutes into the match, come on guys. I’d really like to see Hardy taking a mentor role with the younger X-Division guys, ignoring the drug stuff he’s got a great risk-taker/tag team wrestler to world champion story. Long story short, Hardy gets the hot tag and the crowd love it, all four men fight until Manik hits his finisher on King, and Hardy gets the Swanton and the pinfall. Really good match, fast paced as you’d expect from these four.
After the bell, Sabin cheap shots both his opponents, until Aries runs him off. Aries grabs a mic and makes a challenge, but Hardy wants to do something he’s never done before. Hardy says he wants an Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory, with Aries, Manik and Sabin. Why not add King? It’s not like numbers matter in those matches.
Backstage Segment – Sting and Hulk are talking backstage, until a runner drops in a present from Dixie. It’s a watch, apparently the same watch she gave Sting last year, I don’t remember if that had any significance.
MAGNUS VS CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, KAZARIAN & BOBBY ROODE (GAUNTLET MATCH)
Daniels dances his way out wearing goggles, give this man a world title run. My first thought is that this is a good pairing, Magnus could definitely learn a lot from a veteran like Daniels. Daniels attacks the throat, using his tape, hanging him over the ropes and choking him with his legs, to absolute silence. This crowd have no idea what they’re missing. After some back and forth action, Magnus got his foot up during the BME, and nailed a Michinoku Driver for the 3 count.
Kazarian then comes out and works a decent match with Magnus, until tapping out to the Cloverleaf. I do not like how he’s beaten two men completely clean, it makes them look so weak. That’s not because I’m bias towards CD and K, it’s just too easy for him.
As Roode slowly walks to the ring, Kaz attacks Magnus’ bad knee. Roode dominates him, using technical moves and submissions on the afflicted area, until Magnus hits a Driver for a near-fall and tries the Cloverleaf, but can’t put enough pressure on. Roode holds Magnus in the Crossface for a while, until changing to an Ankle Lock with a leg-vine and getting the win. Magnus was booked so strongly in this match, almost until it was getting ridiculous. I did like how long it took him to tap however, not too long, not too soon.
He starts to have a tantrum until he’s joined by Sting who grabs a mic and says Maggo is making a display of himself. Someone in the crowd shouts ‘KICK HIS ASS STING’, must be an avid watcher. Magnus get himself a mic and says it’s just not good enough, he works hard and doesn’t get the results. Sting mentions Ric Flair giving him an opportunity back in the day, and Magnus wants to know who will do that for him. Sting says he will at BFG, and the two men shake hands and make it official. I REALLY enjoyed the back and forth between them, very passionate. Sting putting Magnus over will really help his character.
Backstage Segment – Aries brings Hulk some vegan vitamins, saying he might need them, and some prayers, for his decision later tonight.
They then show a cool promo package of Hulks history with TNA, a lot of stuff that I’d actually forgotten.
Backstage Segment – Sabin says he won’t be out for Velvets upcoming match because she doesn’t need his help. Instead he’s going to do loads of pretentious stuff backstage.
Backstage Segment – Daniels and Kaz are backstage singing ‘HE’S OFF THE CHAINNNNN’ over and over again in a deep over-American radio rock accent. They celebrate Roode’s victory and say next week he’s the first ever inductee to the E.G.O Hall of Fame. Roode looks absolutely ecstatic as Daniels calls him ‘The Prime Minister of Suave’ (he’s Canadian), and they all carry on singing. Genuinely hilarious.
BROOKE TESSMACHER VS VELVET SKY
Haven’t seen either lady wrestle for quite a while, TNA must be really feeling the lack of Knockouts. Velvet comes out dressed much more conservatory than before, I wonder if this is a conscious thing to make her popular? Lei’D Tapa, who looks like a giant Tina Turner, comes out before this match can begin and attacks Velvet as Brooke runs away. She hits a hard big boot and an enormous Samoan Drop and plays to the crowd. Last time I saw her wrestle she was terrible, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. Just a shame Awesome Kong won’t come back.
Promo Video for a new wrestler called Ethan is shown, seemingly playing a cocky, rich type character. I have no idea who he is, which is weird in this day and age of the internet and indie circuits.
BULLY RAY VS SAMOA JOE
Joe starts the match wearing a shirt, must be having a fat day. Basic back and forth stuff, which either man taking turns to chain moves together. Bully grabs his chain but Earl Hebner takes it off him, so he low-blows Joe as the ref gets rid of it. Earl takes a bump; Joe tries to revive him as Bully sits on the top rope after regaining the chain. He leaps off an nails Joe as Earl is watching, and gets disqualified…what a waste. He teases a Piledriver on the concrete, but AJ runs through the crowd and puts a stop to it. He runs back into the crowd and celebrates with the crowd, cool image that should have ended the show.
Dixie Carter comes out and does a pretty good job of patronising the crowd before asking Hulk Hogan to join her. She’s overjoyed that he’s wearing the watch, and asks him if he’s aboard ‘the Dixie train’, which the crowd laugh at. Someone starts doing Jim Duggan ‘HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’s in the crowd and completely distracted me. Hulk says he’s always wanted to be part of the power in this industry, but he can’t go along with her decision and quits. The crowd don’t know if this is good or bad and just look surprised. As Hulk walks up the ramp, Dixie holds onto his leg like a child. He shakes her off and leaves as Impact goes off air.
As always you can contact me with any thoughts, or even if you just want to chat about wrestling at @jrholberry on twitter. Thanks a lot!