Welcome to this week’s review of Impact Wrestling here on The Real Mid Card. To catch up on everything that’s been going on in TNA over the last few weeks, and far beyond, check out our TNA correspondent Joseph’s archive here. Enjoy reading!
TNA IMPACT REVIEW
As TNA is on Challenge on Sunday nights, and Craig and myself think that this review should go up at the most logical time, I download it. On my download, the show started in the credits of whatever show was on before it! Kind of weird really, just a short segment of Taz threatening Mike Tenay.
The show starts with a recap video soley based on Tito Ortiz turning up at the end of last weeks show.
Bully Ray, Taz and Mr. Anderson make their way down the ramp, with the latter two heading straight to ringside to intimidate Jeremy Borash. Bully tells Tito to stay out of his way, and that he is booked tonight in a tag team match with his brother D-Von against Chris Sabin and a mystery partner from the Main Event Mafia. As always, Bully shines on the mic, the man is completely convincing in his role. He calls out Sabin, who comes out wearing the World Title around him like a sash. Sabin actually gets some time on the mic without being overshadowed, and delivers his points smoothly.
Bully asks Hulk Hogan to come to the ring with the contract for next weeks Steel Cage match, but Brooke Hogan comes out instead. She says in Bully’s contract for the last title match, that there was a stipulation for the rematch that means that if he loses, he can never compete for the World Title ever again (so he’s going to win). Brooke makes a dick joke and both men sign the contract.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH – SAMOA JOE VS JEFF HARDY
I feel like I’ve seen this match a hundred times, so I’m not interested. Jeff seems to have dropped off a lot recently, he’s still totally over with the crowd, but he hasn’t been in the main event/title picture for quite some time. I still love the ‘powerbomb-pin-kickout-STF’ that Joe does, its unique to him. After a distraction from Anderson (he stood up), Hardy rolled up Joe for the win. Anderson himself was laughing his head off on commentary about it, he only stood up, he didn’t even move.
Backstage Segment – Christopher Daniels teases the split of Bad Influence, NOOOO!
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH – MAGNUS VS MR. ANDERSON
First off, Magnus gets a good reaction, which really surprised me. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t really have any personality. Anderson spent most of the match wearing Magnus down, lots of rest holds and attacking limbs. Magnus started to fire back, until Bobby Roode ran to the ring with a chair and hit Anderson, giving him the win by DQ. In the BFG Series, this means Magnus loses ten points. Logically everyone should be sabotaging everyone else’s matches.
Backstage Segment – Roode laughs about what just happened, and then we’re taken to someone interviewing Referee Brian Hebner. He says it was a difficult decision, but it had to be made. Magnus joins him and agrees, and says that he will get the ten points back. Magnus didn’t even seem bothered about what just happened.
Backstage Segment – Mickie James asks The Bro-Mans (Robbie E and Jesse Godderz) to take out James Storm and Gunner.
Backstage Segment – Three in a row! Sabin is discussing his match with MEM.
Jeremy Borash introduces Tito Ortiz, who gets to say one sentence before being interupted by Kurt Angle. Kurt squares upto Tito and tells him that they are in his ring, and that they should respect each others space. They’re then interupted by Bully Ray, who says he’s sick of the two of them, because they’re beneath him. Tito didn’t say anything, and looked like a complete mug.
SIX MAN TAG MATCH – THE BRO-MANS & MICKIE JAMES VS JAMES STORM, GUNNER AND ODB
The Tag Champs Storm and Gunner haven’t been on TV as much recently, but they’re still popular. Storm starts the match and treats Robbie like shit. One day TNA will realise that they need to let their younger wrestlers look strong, because their stars definitely have a sell-by-date. Jesse hit a nasty looking dropkick on Storm, jumped straight to head height, I was impressed. After a hot tag and all six people being in the ring, Storm superkicked Jesse, and then hit a double team move on Robbie for the three. ODB did literally one move in this match, definitely not enough time on the card for a six man. After the match, Gail Kim appeared out of nowhere to attack ODB, and as the referee chased her off, Mickie got in on the action and blindsided her too.
Backstage Segment – Kazarian says people aren’t taking him seriously, and that he will show them all tonight. PLEASE DON’T SPLIT!
Backstage Segment – Bully Ray and D-Von hype each other up for their match tonight.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH – KAZARIAN VS CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
If I had to sum this match up with as little words as I could, it’d be ‘:(‘. The match starts with chain wrestling, doing the classic ‘tag team know each other’ angle that we’ve all seen before. The men eventually snap at each other and resort to shoving, and then stop and walk to the ramp together. Daniels put his arm around Kaz and asked Earl Hebner to start counting them out, which leads to a double count-out and both men getting 2 points each. Best fucking ending of all time, ever in the world ever!
Bobby Roode’s music hits and he sneaks out with a chair. He grabs the mic and tells BI to join him in the ring. He says everyone has been talking about the other factions in TNA, where they should have been talking about the 3 of them. He says they are going to be influencing the BFG Series from now on, and one of them win. Weird idea, I don’t see the three of them working together on a character basis, but I’m a fan of all three, so I’m interested.
Backstage Segment – Tito Ortiz says that he isn’t backing down, and will be here next week. Why he couldn’t say that in front of the crowd, I don’t know.
MAIN EVENT – BULLY RAY & DEVON VS CHRIS SABIN AND… STING?
I was already thinking ‘Why would Sabin chose Sting?’ before Kurt Angle ran to the ring and decked D-Von, shortest swerve in the history of wrestling. All four men brawl, with the faces getting the upper hand. A massive USA chant starts, okay. Did anyone see Smackdown where there was a USA chant in a match between a Canadian and a Mexican?
Bully and D-Von have still got a huge amount of chemistry, I doubt they’ll ever lose it. You can tell they still want to play to the crowd during their most well known spots. Team 3D work on Sabin for the majority of the match, awful idea. Surely the World Champion should get the hot tag? He could attack both men at twice the speed Angle can manage nowadays, and look strong. All for men eventually fight in the ring, really back and forth action, with Sabin sprinting across the ring time after time but eventually getting caught and thrown on the ramp. 3D to Angle, which the crowd cheer and then realise what happened – ‘YEEEAAA…BOOOOO!’ Bully sets up a table in the corner, but misses a spear and smashes through it himself. Sabin follows with a cross-body and gets the pin. Solid match.
Notes: TNA must be going for the record on Backstage Segments, and they need to make Sabin look a lot stronger.
As always you can contact me with any thoughts, or even if you just want to chat about wrestling at @jrholberry on twitter. Thanks!
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