The Weekly Impact Review


If you’re one of our loyal followers, you will know that the site has been in a transition period as of late. I recently moved house, had no broadband for five days, and then my laptop stopped working. Despite all this, we have still managed to upload an article pretty much every day. As of next week, these weekly Impact reviews are going to take a permanent spot on the schedule, every Monday. For now, here is the latest review we have for you. Hit ‘Follow’ to keep up with more of Joe’s work, and all of the wrestling content we have to offer. Thank you for your interest.

hulk hogan suicideHulk Hogan or Suicide? – Source: YouTube

TNA IMPACT – 27/6/2013

Middle of last week, TNA took an interesting risk, releasing a video showing that Suicide wins the X Division championship this week, but that it was someone else under the mask. I thought it was interesting, and pretty gutsy to do something like that, and I’m sure a fair few people will have tuned in to see who it was.

Impact starts with a recap video, showing Kurt Angle joining the Main Event Mafia, Hulk Hogan losing his temper with Bully Ray, and the winners of the Bound for Glory Series.

Sting makes his way to the ring, and invites his new teammate Angle to the ring. Kurt tells the crowd that the two of them were the in the original MEM, and that you had to be a former World Champion to join. Pretty strange that everyone has forgotten MEM was a heel stable the first time round, but it doesn’t really matter. Kurt tells us we are going to meet the newest member tonight, and that’s it for the first segment. Pretty short and sweet, outlined their intentions well.

Promo Video – Ultimate X match at Slammiversairy, showing Chris Sabin’s victory.

Backstage Segment – Sabin is walking to the ring, where he is grabbed by Aces & Eights members DOC, Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray. They hold him against a wall as Bully tells him that ‘the right thing to do’ is to NOT trade his X Division Championship for a World Title Match. I thought this was great idea, and wondered why I’d never seen someone threaten a Money in the Bank winner.

Promo Video – Gutcheck contender, Adam Ohriner/Big O.

I only know this dude from Zack Ryders Iced Z videos, never seen him wrestle. He definitely has size on his side, but surely TNA have Rob Terry for that? Pretty standard video about wanting to make it to the big leagues, doesn’t show much character.

3 WAY X DIVISION TITLE MATCH – KENNY KING VS. CHRIS SABIN VS. SUICIDE

Because I knew it wasn’t the regular person under the mask (I knew who it was, no spoilers until the reveal later) I was pretty much just watching Suicide the whole time, trying to see any changed moves or something ‘Suicide’ doesn’t usually do. Back and forth action, until ‘Suicide’ dives from the apron onto King, and Sabin dives onto all three as we go to commercial.

I’m really enjoying Kenny King’s work at the moment, he’s an X Division wrestler who has a mainstream size, I could see him doing well. After a tower of doom (Sabin with a superplex whilst being powerbombed by King), Sabin throws ‘Suicide’ out and hits his weird Fisherman’s Michinoku Driver variation for a two count. ‘Suicide’ gets back in, throws Sabin out and Rolls up King with a hand on the rope for the 3 count and the title! The ending was VERY messy; the referee’s 3 count was very weak so when he called for the bell the entire crowd didn’t know what to think.

As ‘Suicide’ celebrates, Hulk Hogan makes his way onto the ramp, dragging a limping young man behind him. He tells us that this dude – TJ Perkins, is the real Suicide, and that he’s just been jumped in the back, and his gear stolen. Hulk wants to know whos under the mask and starts walking down to the ring. Suicide then sprints through the crowd and disappears, a lot of great shots of confused looking fans in the crowd.

Notes – Should TNA bother with the Suicide character anymore? The whole point was that you didn’t know who he was, we know now. I wouldn’t mind if he started wrestling as TJ Perkins, as apparently that’s what hes been doing for some time on the indie circuit.

Backstage segment – Hulk is giving the assailant until the end of the night to reveal himself.

Promo Video – Gutcheck Contender Ryan Howe.

First impression is that he dresses in a very 80’s glam rock way, but sounds very clean cut and frankly pretty boring. I could see a character like that working as a cocky heel, but not as a face.

GUTCHECK MATCH – BIG O VS. RYAN HOWE

Ryan Howe comes out PLAYING A GUITAR SOLO which I thought was interesting, but the crowd didn’t really care, and Taz made a reference to late 90’s WCW Van Hammer, which is pretty much an insult. All that made Big O walking to the ring to no music seem very boring.

Big O with some nice power moves until Howe goes for a Springboard Crossbody, but connects across O’s thighs, awkward. Howe with some quick strikes until he gets caught with a standard powerslam and loses.

With Gutcheck we have to wait until next week to see if he gets a contract, but do TNA have anything for him? Rob Terry has basically the same gimmick, and I haven’t seen him for a few weeks as it is.

Backstage Segment – Bully Ray goes to talk to TJ Perkins, asking if Sting and Angle put him up to what happened earlier tonight. TJ denies it, and says he’s been working on getting the opportunity at the World Title himself. Bully believes he had nothing to do with it, and lets him go with a huge fake smile on his face.

Promo Video – Recapping the Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky feud, showing Mickie’s slow heel turn.

KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH – MICKIE JAMES VS. VELVET SKY

Mickie starts by grabbing the mic and telling Velvet that she should just give up and walk away, until Velvet hits her with a horrendous spear, if you could call it that. After some turnbuckle bumps, Mickie gets hit with a Russian Leg sweep for a nearfall. Mickie rolls to the outside to recover, and as Velvet comes to that side of the ring, she attacks the injured knee. Velvet eventually makes her way to her feet, and throws Mickie out. Mickie then ends up talking to Taz which I thought was brilliant, you never see that anywhere else. Velvet with a spinning headscissors that Mickie sells by doing a forward roll, cringe. The crowd get bored and start chanting for the referee, ODB. Mickie takes Velvets knee out and goes for her submission move which seems to be a mix between a Texas Cloverleaf and an Indian Deathlock, and Velvet taps out.

After all that, Christy Hemme decides it’s the right time to talk to Velvet about the match, NOW’S NOT A GOOD TIME CHRISTY! The crowd chants ‘YOU TAPPED OUT’, which is a weird parallel between this and the AJ – Kaitlyn feud in WWE.

Backstage Segment – Sting and Angle are just stood backstage, not speaking or anything, as Bobby Roode walks past and coughs, hinting at his availability to join MEM. Sting and Kurt then smile at each other as we cut to the next segment.

Backstage Segment – Hulk asking the X Division match’s referee if he noticed anything different about ‘Suicide’ tonight, which he denies. Hulk then asks him to try find him, because if he doesn’t reveal himself, he’ll be stripped of the title. Surely the title win shouldn’t count anyway, as he wasn’t sanctioned. If that’s the way it worked, masked wrestlers would be getting attacked constantly!

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH – BOBBY ROODE VS. MAGNUS

Both men come out to a good reaction, still no mic time for Magnus though, big mistake. The Match starts with some decent chain wrestling, until Roode gets shot to the ropes and hit with a high knee. They brawl around the outside, until Roode regains the upper hand. Roode focus’s his attacks on the neck of Magnus, nice to see some technical wrestling. Magnus makes his way to his feet from a chinlock, and fires back with some quick clotheslines. Roode tries a crossbody just so Magnus can use his move where he throws his opponent from across his chest into a vertical suplex (no idea what that’s called, third time thats happened tonight!). Magnus then heads to the top and hits his elbow drop for a close two count, with the crowd fully behind him. Roode eventually recovers and goes for a Fisherman’s Suplex, Magnus spins out and nails a Michinoku Driver for the 3 count and 7 points in the BFG Series.

Huge win for Magnus, from my memory the biggest of his career. The loss means Roode is 0-2 in the BFG, but there’s definitely still time for him to recover.

Backstage segment – Aces & 8’s burst into the locker room, and ask Chavo Guerrero, Jesse and Robbie E if they were under the Suicide mask earlier tonight , which they all deny. Bully Ray is brilliant in his role, being able to switch between serious and comedy as he tells Chavo he’s speaking English, and telling Jesse (who’s one of the more ripped members on the roster) to stay off the carbs.

TNA World Tag Team Champions James Storm and Gunner are in the ring, Storm with the mic. He does his usual thing of talking about beer, and then about mixing tequila and pretty ladies to have a good time, yawn. I personally don’t drink but it doesn’t bother me if other people do, but if your gimmick is solely that you drink, it’s really not interesting. Plus Storm needs to realise he doesn’t need to shout quite as loud, hes not saying anything that needs emphasis anyway. Robbie E, Jesse and Tara interrupt, with Robbie E recalling Storm not picking him as his partner a few weeks back. He eventually tells us that they are the future of tag team wrestling, THE BRO MANS. This makes Storm make some unfunny jokes about bromance, all whilst screaming into the mic. Jesse steps forward, and Gunner decks him with one punch.

If that’s not the way to completely kill momentum I don’t know what is, surely ‘The Bro-Mans’ should’ve attacked them cheaply to set up a match and add another Tag Team to the lacking division.

MAIN EVENT BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH – SAMOA JOE VS. MR. ANDERSON

The match starts with Anderson trying to avoid being grabbed by Joe, until Joe forces him into the corner and peppers him with quick jabs and an enziguri. When Joe comes back to the corner, Anderson throws him to the middle turnbuckle and out of the ring. When the action returns to the ring, Anderson hits a spinning neckbreaker for a nearfall, which Taz blames on ‘the relic, Earl Hebner’. I really dislike Earl so I loved that, the guy is so slack nowadays, and not quick enough to get out of the way too many times. As Joe makes a comeback, DOC and Knox make their way to the ring. This distracts Joe enough for Anderson to hit a DDT, which gets him a two count. Angle and Sting then make their way to ringside to fight DOC and Knox off, which distracts Anderson enough for Joe to catch him in the choke and get the submission win and ten points.

Sting and Angle then climb in the ring to celebrate with Joe, and reveal that Joe is the newest member of the MEM.

Backstage segment – Angle and Sting welcome Joe into their group, AND GIVE HIM A SUIT. This made me absolutely howl laughing, like the suit thing isn’t weird enough as it is! Does Joe not own a suit? Did Sting and Angle go shopping today and buy him one? Either way, I loved it.

Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring, doing his usual hand to ear stuff, not showing any worry about what he’s been going through tonight and the last few weeks. He tells ‘Suicide’ to get to the ring right now. When ‘Suicide’ arrives, Hulk tells him that he’s chopped down mountains with the side of his hand, and pressed giants above his head. I think Hulk has finally lost his mind, like when he said Lars Ulrich asked him to play bass in Metallica (google it!). As ‘Suicide’ stalls removing his mask, Bully Ray makes his way to the ring and tells him that he only won tonight, because he put the fear of god into Chris Sabin. Surely Sabin should’ve been out here to see this? ‘Suicide’ speaks with a super deep, almost demonic sounding voice, about darkness and pain, which gets some laughs from the crowd. ‘Suicide’ then tells Bully he’s beaten him before, and unmasks to reveal…AUSTIN ARIES! AA then puts over how he cashed in the belt before, and won the World Title, and he’s going to do it again. Hulk and Bully look confused/worried as Impact goes off air, AA’s music hits and he poses for the crowd.

Even though I’d like to see Bully vs. AA again, the storyline has no logic. Shouldn’t Hulk strip him of the belt and punish him for attacking TJ backstage? The entire crowd had forgotten about the earlier heel behaviour as they openly cheered Aries, so maybe it doesn’t matter.

Notes – Just a couple of things this week; No Bad Influence? No AJ? I suppose I’m bias toward these men, but I think TNA should use them as much as possible.

As always you can contact me with any thoughts, or even if you just want to chat about wrestling at @jrholberry on twitter.

Thanks!

 

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