Thanks for looking at the weekly Raw review here on The Real Mid Card. I say this every time and recently it’s always impossible, but I will try to be snappier than ever. Raw has been so consistently great recently, that keeping things short has been very tough. Anyway, I made notes last night as always, and here are my thoughts on the show.
Daniel Bryan v Randy Orton This was the rubber match between these two, after all of the false finishes we have seen in the last few weeks. The match was called off for a double disqualification after around a minute.
Christian & Sheamus v Team Rhodes Scholars The match opened with good work from the ever reliable Cody and Christian. I’d rather see these two in a singles match. Sheamus got the tag in and raised hell, before hitting the Brogue Kick for the win. There was some confusion leading up to this between Cody and Sandow as they left and entered the ring respectively. Possible breakup on the cards?
Kaitlyn v Aksana Kaitlyn got the very quick win with a spear. AJ and Langston came out on to the ramp after the match and did a parody of the whole secret admirer segment. AJ was wearing a fake Kaitlyn man-arm suit. Absolutely hilarious stuff! What a goddess.
Chris Jericho v Alberto Del Rio I didn’t miss a bit of this match, thanks to the amazing app. I stayed locked to it the whole night and the match carried on with live video. This was a good solid wrestling match. Ricardo interfered and Jericho got the win by DQ. Ziggler came out and laid another insanely frantic beatdown on Alberto. He shouted “I’m the man around here!” He hit Jericho with the zigzag, payback! Maybe this means a triple threat at the PPV for the World Title? I would be down with that. Ziggler’s new look with the stubbly facial hair and the non-combed back hair is awesome. I hope that continues.
Triple H popped in to see Brickie. Vince had previously hinted to them to call off the Bryan and Orton match because he is “too small” – Hunter was there to tell them that it would happen, and it would be the main event! Also, the fans would get to decide the match stipulation on, you guessed it, the app!
Then we were treated to this hilarious video advert for Sheamus’ services as a fella. This was pretty funny, and the first time I’ve been entertained by the guy in a long time.
After this, we were subjected to an agonizing Brickie and Lawler in-ring segment, shamelessly plugging the WWE 2K14 videogame. The one good thing about this was the crowd reaction to Vickie. It reminded me of how badly we booed her when I was at the Raw TV taping in Birmingham last year. She is still over as hell in that regard. The crowd have a lot of fun booing her, She is an attraction. Then they unveiled the front cover. One man was on it. The Rock. What a fucking disgrace.
Ryback is back. Woo, I’m scared! He could job for someone at any given second! intimidating stuff. I was tuned into the app during the break and they showed an old clip of Stone Cold versus Savio Vega from the 90s. Vince was calling the match, and talking about how Diesel and Razor Ramon had just left for WCW. Awesome.
Ryback v Great Khali If ever a match was destined to be bad before the bell even rang, it was this one. It lived up to those expectations. It was a two minute standing borefest. Ryback marched around the ring twice with Khali on his back, shellshocked him, and got the pin. It’s okay if he jobs out for ten PPVs in a row, as long as he can march twice with someone big. Good logic.
John Cena came out to the ring to deliver a promo. Am I the only one who loves that thing he does when he comes out on the stage and has a casual chat with the cameraman before running down? It’s so cool. His promo was pretty damn good. He put over the title as something very important. He hated on Henry for working the universe. He brought up the retirement speeches of guys like Edge, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair (which got a huge woo pop, as they were in South Carolina) – Cena said faking the retirement speech was wrong. He then confirmed that the two of them would battle for the title at Money in the Bank.
The Usos v Tonnes of Funk v 3MB (Triple Threat Tag Team Match for Number One Contendership of the WWE Tag Team Championship) On the way to the ring, Tensai and Clay were joined by some rich douche who apparently paid the most money to a charity just to dance with those fools. The triple threat is always an interesting format for tag matches. The Usos were the only legit team in this match so I was pleased to see them get the win. The Shield came down to the entranceway of the stand and had a little stare down with their new competition. This could be a very good feud for The Usos!
Then they showed that hilarious advert for The Call with Halle Berry, Kane and David Otunga. I haven’t seen this for a while. It’s so funny! Berry is such a good sport for doing that and Kane is just amazing. Funny stuff, and this seems like it might actually be a decent film, especially by WWE standards.
David Otunga then proved that he can actually take a boring backstage interview plugging the movie, and make it entertaining with some good old fashioned arrogant heeldom. I think was on the app, not the actual show.
Paul Heyman came to the ring and called out CM Punk. So the first hour was a lot of matches. Now we’ve had a load of segments. A better mix of the two would be good, but I’m clutching at straws. This show was great. Mutton chops came out for the face to face meeting. He gave an epic history lesson about the days of OVW and ECW and put over Heyman as the guy who always stuck up for him and had his back. He talked about how Paul would often have to battle with Vince and others over keeping him in the company. He mentioned how Paul made him his first ECW draft pick. Touching stuff.
However, he wanted Paul to tell Lesnar that he is coming for him. He doesn’t care if Brock is bigger or stronger, because he isn’t better. He can’t be. Nobody is. Punk then demanded that for once Heyman tell the truth. He gave a passionate performance and the crowd actually started chanting “Tell the truth!” Heyman vehemently denied the accusation and even swore on his children. This promo was simply incredible. Paul attributed the attack to the “professional jealousy” that has apparently been brewing between the two of them for quite some time.
Heyman then said he knew he would one day walk out with CM Punk again, probably at a Wrestlemania, because they are best friends. He once again made all men in the building uncomfortable, by declaring his love for Punk in the ring. Heyman is the king of acting. He actually had me believing him and following his every word. He kept bringing up the good old days that Punk had mentioned earlier, to buy himself some trust. Punk eventually picked up the mic and simply said “I’m sorry I doubted you” – He hugged him with this lost child expression on his face. The betrayal is going to be so scrumptious and juicy when Heyman actually does screw him over. They can build this for ages and make it so good, if they are subtle with it.
CM Punk v Darren Young You’re not imagining it. This match actually happened! After that intense twenty minute segment, it was pretty crazy to remember that this match was booked and try to prepare myself for it. Right now, WWE is the acting capital of the world. I mean, come on, Henry and Heyman are better than Cage and Damon! Before the match started, the app showed a highlight of Brock Lesnar and Rob Van Dam from years ago. This could be a hint at another possible future route for RVD?
Anyway, back to this very interesting choice of match. Darren Young got off some good offense in a surprisingly good match. I know Punk can have them with anyone, but still. Young hit a few very nice suplexes. This match actually did a lot for his stock in my opinion. He also connected with this sort of military press into a gutbuster. The kid got a long two on CM Punk! Punk did kick out though, and tapped him out shortly after with the Anaconda Vice. Titus came in and instigated the two on one attack. Like a shot, Curtis Axel came to Punk’s defence. Heyman got in the ring and told Punk “There was no other way. It was two on one” You just can’t take your eyes off of Raw these days. This added another very nice layer to the whole Punk and Heyman storyline. Great match too!
Stephanie McMahon came out and announced the lineup for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE Championship briefcase. It’s possibly the best lineup I’ve ever seen. The possibilities are endless. Here you go: Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Christian, Kane and Rob Van Dam! My only concern is that the match appears to contain seven faces, and no heels. That shows the total lack of good heels in the company right now. Ryback and Jericho argued with Brickie about their respective absence from the match backstage. Rather than do the logical thing and put the two of them in a match on Raw for an eighth spot in the match, making it eight (an even number) – Vickie decided to book them in a singles match against each other with nothing at stake at the PPV itself. Greaaat.
Heyman and Punk then had a chat backstage, which the cameraman luckily caught live. It’s great how they don’t even see him there filming them! How does that guy do it? Anyway, next week will see Punk team with Axel to take on the Prime Time Players. Could be a good match, but this whole thing is so weird! Punk told Heyman he doesn’t care. He will win that, beat Lesnar, win the briefcase and eventually win back the title, because that’s all he cares about.
Mark Henry came out to address all of the “puppets” in the crowd like a total legend! He delivered a great promo, making fun of the Henry chants, signs and tears from last week. He used his family and all of the fans, and refused to apologise. Insanely good “Bitch please” promo. “Y’all a bunch of puppets” – The infamous words of the guy who cut the best promo of all time.
PLEASE STOP SHOWING ME “DISTURBING” WYATT FAMILY VIGNETTES AND JUST FUCKING DEBUT THEM ALREADY!
Daniel Bryan v Randy Orton The fans chose a Street Fight stipulation for the main event. I voted for Falls Count Anywhere. Oh well. This was a very intense rubber match indeed. In one particularly cool spot, Daniel Bryan attempted the suicide dive, only to get hit with a steel chair by Orton while in mid-air. Another great one was when Bryan ducked under the bottom rope and powerbombed Orton through a table on the outside. Then he lashed Orton with a bunch of ruthless kendo stick shots.
The battle went on as Orton responded with a modified single leg hook belly to belly through another table in the ring. I know I didn’t describe that too well. My ROH correspondent Fozzy (who watches Raw with me most weeks) described it as “like a tazzplex” What a great main event! Bryan later went for a crossbody from the top, but Orton turned it into a powerbomb. He eventually got the Lobell Lock on Orton, but he fought out in the most intense way. He managed to grab the kendo stick, smash him in the face with it several times, and then continue to beat him senseless with the stick. Very intense stuff for PG Raw.
Orton then hit his trademark DDT. He went for the RKO but Bryan reversed it into a backslide for a near fall. Bryan got him in the Lobell Lock again. Orton grabbed the stick but this time Bryan grabbed it off of him and used it to assist his submission. The Viper had no choice but to tap. What an incredible match and an excellent way for D-Bry to finally get his win. Orton gave Bryan a handshake before leaving the ring. JBL described him as a “class act”
This was a great way to end a very, very good show. They are cramming in more amazing content with each week. Awesome matches. amazing segments. I have been so impressed with Raw lately, and this episode continued to go with that trend.
I hope you enjoyed the post. I tried to keep it as short as I possibly could, but as I said before, Raw has been just too good lately. Let me know what you think? If you enjoyed the content, give us a Follow. We upload a post every day, so if you like wrestling, you know where to come. Check out the other categories, and the YouTube wrestling series Unsanctioned. Thanks for all your support. Leave a comment and let us know what you think!