To Do List – Source: http://www.theresiliencecentre.com.au
So I’ve been looking through a lot of old posts lately. It’s always interesting and usually funny to look back. I’ve written more than 80 of these things in the last five months. Many of them are about wrestling. Some of them are about football. Very few are personal rants or discussions. You may be surprised to know that if you look back to January, there were quite a few of these personal ones. I guess that was what I started out wanting to write about. It didn’t take long for me to realise that posting about yourself all the time is lame and boring. I enjoy writing about wrestling more, and surely people enjoy reading that more.
However, with my recent decrease in views, who knows what people want to read about? I’ve actually had several people tell me in person that they enjoyed my opinionated rants and quibbles about my life. I figured I’d take a look back at my second ever post, and my first real post that wasn’t just an introduction. I spoke a lot in this post about my job, my projects, the stress and everything that goes with it. I’m going to look through this thing and do a little update. It should be interesting to see how things have changed, or not. I’ll be coming up with this off hand, so I’ll be philosophising about this stuff, as you read it. How groovy?
The job: So the first paragraph talks a lot about my job. How do I feel about my job right now? Well In between that post and this, I had a couple of months off work after I went through a kind of mental breakdown. I was so sick of the transport that I literally just couldn’t go on. I then started doing three days a week to work around the phototherapy I was receiving at the hospital. Since then, I’ve continued the 3/7 day shift pattern. It’s much more manageable emotionally. I have tonnes more time to work on the things that really drive me, like this blog.
I still get to see my work friends. I earn just enough money to get by. I don’t have to spend the majority of my waking hours travelling to or being at work. That’s a good thing. I’d say my current employment situation is as good as it can be right now. I’d rather earn less money and be less depressed, than the other way around. Hopefully one day I can get a job where I can work five days a week but not rage out all the time. A lot of that has to do with proximity to Birmingham, something which will also hopefully be changing soon.
The projects: Okay, so I mentioned here the contributions to the label. Since this point I have done a lot of work for Chameleon Recordings. I’ve fully written and created two artist portfolios for artists on the label, I’ve written a few reviews on releases from the label and I went on tour for two weeks with one of the artists to generally provide assistance, and also film the entire trip for a tour video. I am actively and regularly involved in the editing process for that video. There will be episodes of this posted on here, very soon. So be sure to hit FOLLOW at the top of the page. The documentary on northern soul fell dead sadly. However, I’m writing an extended feature on the movement for Fused Magazine, which should be available in a month or so.
I am no closer to learning blues piano. My musical dreams change every week. The reason I don’t make any progress with them is because I keep to my important role of not wasting my time putting effort into something that will eventually disappoint. Making music ultimately ends up depressing me. Listening and critiquing, yes. Making, no, never again. FA coaching badges? I don’t even know where to start. The amount of hilarious brainwaves I have every week is horrendous. Almost all of them fall into the depths of my memory. If work didn’t exist, I’d have all the time in the world to attempt some of these, but I probably still wouldn’t. I would procrastinate.
Spanish is something I’ve played with on and off for five years. I don’t think I’ll ever be fluent or even close. I don’t dedicate myself enough. I’m all talk and not enough study. This could perhaps be because of the 18 or so consecutive years of institutional education. Contributing to a magazine? Yes. That’s something I do, do. I contribute to Area Culture Guide and Fused Magazine and have been published in those publications. I work on the Birmingham 2022 project, contributing written work in the form of articles, features and even poetry.
Writing a screenplay? Another dream like the millions of others I have every year. I don’t even fully follow through on the realistic ones, so coaching badges and screenplays are beyond a long shot. I haven’t even started learning to drive. I should have stuck to it when I had lessons when I was 17. That was probably my last chance. If you drive, you either live with your parents, or you’re/they’re rich. Paying rent and bills on three days a week is hard enough. Even I’m not thrifty enough to afford driving too.
Self Criticism: At the end here, I just quickly talk about procrastination, dreaming aloud and putting forward your own shortcomings. Well here are some more for you to see. It’s good to criticise yourself and take a look at what you’re doing, because it helps you remain focused and driven, or so they say. I doubt that by pointing out how little I stick to anything, and absorbing that information, I will somehow be able to move forward and achieve all the stupid, impossible goals I set myself. The goals aren’t impossible to all. You do just need drive and passion. You also need time. I don’t have enough of either still. I’m doing my best with the time I do have, but I don’t think it’s near enough.
To sum up, it’s good to look back on how you felt several months before. It’s good to take a look at your former goals and see how close you are to accomplishing them. Hopefully I’ll be able to tick off a few more of these before I get to my bucket list, which will probably be when I’m 30.