Everything is up in the air


Having quit my job just over a week ago, I am currently stuck in a bit of a rut. I am desperate to find some stable work nearer to my home, for health and stress reasons. This has been even harder than I expected. I’ve applied for around twelve positions, half of which I have already been turned down for (e.g. Asda & Ladbrokes!) There is nothing in Walsall whatsoever, and my only real hope is to look further afield. This would mean I’d be better off just going back to my old job (which is something I have the option of doing, and I’m strongly considering)

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to know that I have that option. I was starting to love the job, and I definitely miss the people I worked with. The whole reason for my leaving was solely the distance, and the time I lost getting to it. I’m starting to think I need to continue to use that as my day job to pay for my bills and give me the stability I need. I can then work on my other projects (like this) in my spare time, and hopefully learn to drive sooner than later. Going back to my old work is something I need to keep in mind for sure.The loyalty and support they have shown me is beyond measure anything I could have imagined.

Nonetheless, my stress issues would be sorted if I could just find something closer. Therefore, over the next few weeks while I’m receiving treatment, and am off work sick, I will try my very best to find something. I’ve applied to about eight agencies, sent off about thirty CVs and have spent hours planning and organising. It’s all been for nothing so far. It has only been a week, so it’s important to carry on. I’m meeting with a couple of landlords I’ve worked with in the past on the promotional side, in the hope of striking up a partnership for free in-house music promotion in exchange for paid bar work. I am fairly confident about the potential for progress with that.

My nature for the meticulous and the neurotic is making all of this all the more stressful for me. I don’t like not knowing when and where my money is coming from, and the knock on effects it could have on my future. There are things I’m looking to do in the not so distant future, which will be threatened if I don’t find steady work soon. I don’t know yet whether that will be back at my old work, or in a new opportunity but I need to make sure I get it sorted soon.

In the meantime, I have to get used to what has become my new routine. Searching for jobs online, sending out emails, networking and making phone calls. Hospital photo therapy sessions three times a week will now be added to this, surely cutting in half the time I can spend on Call Of Duty. There are definitely some good things about my current predicament. I love the amount of time and freedom I have to work on passion projects, the general at ease feeling of my days now and the fact I an play xbox all I want. The only problem is my mind. I stress myself out worrying about the future, my money and my “career” – For now, I will try and enjoy the ride (as much as I let myself)

Loathing

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